Tuesday, April 06, 2010

CLXXXIV - Postcard from Rome

.
As a suitable end to Easter, I present you with a poem
written by my ancestor J Cosmos Newberrium,
sent on a post-rock from Rome, circa 100AD.

For your convenience, I also provide a translation.



Odoratus piscari.

Extendere tu toga! Iter fibula!
Tractus alteruter. Campus tintinnabula.

Narrare catena? Vestum detrahere?
Bellus vomitorium! Quo vadere?

Aspicere! Magnus harena!
Populus! Sonitus! Musicena!

Aspicere! Caesar! Ave Emperator!
Pollex gravis, Punctun declivator.

Oi! Quo vadis custodia?
Et porta? Cur claudere? Quo sedia?

Ave omnes! Adventare, solum commodus.
Spectare! Longinguus porta apertus.

Bellus feles! Pulcher feles!
Bellus dentes! Haliotoses.

◊◊◊

Something smells fishy.

Straighten your toga, we’re going to a show!
Pull the other one, it plays Jingle Bells.
Why are you taking off my leg irons?
Nice tunnel, where will it take us?
Oh look, a large arena! People! Noise! Music!
Oh look! The emperor! Hi Guv!
His thumb seems heavy, it is hanging down.
Hey! Where have the guards gone?
And the gate? Why is it closed. Where are our seats?
Hi everyone! Come on down, the sand’s fine!
Hey look! The far gate has opened.
Nice kitty. Pretty kitty.
Lovely teeth. Nasty breath.

---
© J Cosmo Newbery
---
Print this post

20 comments:

  1. I should point out that JCNium was not a skilled scholar and, like most people of his time, poorly skilled in Oxfordium Latin grammar. Skilled Latin scholars may acknowledge this fact but beyond that, tough.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If your postcard from Sydney meant that you were in Sydney, does this mean you are in Rome?

    ReplyDelete
  3. my ancestor reacted with
    RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

    however, this is just hearsay since he/she was quite
    the illiterate barbarian. no post rock survives.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my goodness, the cost of postage back then!
    I mean, sending mosaics! Heavy and costly to send.
    Oh what the heck, we'll have another bottle opened,
    A congratulatory, because you see, mosaics never bend.

    ReplyDelete
  5. lol! I can see where you get your poetic skill, J Cosmos. I wonder what it was really like to have your words carved in stone?

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is getting way too intellectual for me. Who knew ancient Romans wrote such a lot of blather on their rock cards?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lee: No, I am roaming Sydney.

    Foam: Excellent advice. The post-rocks do not explain the fate of JCNium.

    Boneman: No, mosaics don't bend; it's the receiver that's warped.

    Talon: Spelling mistakes were a pain. Liquid paper didn't help in those days.

    Molly: What's Latin for "having a wonderful time, wish yov were here?"

    ReplyDelete
  8. Never realized that ancient Romans knew the tune Jingle Bells...

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm I'm I'm French and yet understood still you missed one point in the translation, but an easily understood mistake 'jUngle Bells' if you must knkow...

    You are FANTABULOUS, it's becoming clear to me that you're a match for Sir Silley, I beg of you, do not tell on me!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Quidquid latine dictum sit altum viditur ;)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Cute poem J Cosmo, I enjoyed your 'Latin'.

    I see you have removed my comment on the previous post or it is not showing up ... too much? Sorry!

    I hope you are enjoying your visit to Sydney, there are some great things to see. xoxo ♥

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dianne: Not guilty. I only remove spam. I have checked my email and found the notification of your post and have re-posted it on your behalf. I have no idea why it didn't do it automatically.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Mr. Newberry .. your command of the classics is astounding ..

    Takes me right back to my halcyon days perusing Cicero's Pro Lege ...

    Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks dear J Cosmo, I thought I may have offended you and would never wish to do that. xoxo ♡

    ReplyDelete
  15. You never respond to my comment, I deplore this situation, is it that I voted for Percy?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lorraine: Of course I aren't angry at you because you stumbled at one of life's great decision points and voted for Sir Percy. Everyone makes mistakes.

    Sometimes Sophia: I need all the respectability I can get.

    Riseoutofme: You may swoon if you wish. Garçon! A pillow for the lady!

    Lorraine: See above.

    ReplyDelete
  17. must be nice getting those leg irons off

    withered wanderer

    ReplyDelete
  18. It is pеrfect time to make a feω ρlаns
    for the future and it is time to be hapρy. I have lеaгn this submіt and if I could I want to counsel yοu
    feω intеresting things or tiрs. Maybe
    you can wгite next articleѕ геferгіng to this аrticle.
    Ι want to lеarn even moгe iѕsues approximаtely it!
    My page > loft promo codes

    ReplyDelete
  19. This іѕ ωhen a signаl iѕ givеn,
    the player admits that he іs avаilable in Apple’s Аpρ Store.
    Profеssionаl plаyегs like those in ΝFL Јeгѕeys foгm a lаrge amount of yards, аnd
    even a safеty οr linebаckeг.

    Waѕ away іn Εurope аnd I understаnԁ а
    nice amount, enοugh tо be іnvolved!
    My website - bajamonsters.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hmm iѕ anyonе else encountering problems with the imаgeѕ
    on thiѕ blog loading? I'm trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog.
    Any feeԁbacκ would be gгeаtly apprеciatеd.
    Also visit my webpage - debt collector lawyer

    ReplyDelete

You've come this far - thank you.
Take your time, look around,
There is lots to see.