Thursday, December 18, 2008

LVIII - Dear Santa

One of this week's writing challenges from Mama's Losin' It
is to write a letter to Santa.

Dear Santa

I know you’ve come through so often before
But the time has come to ask for more.
So, let me be firm and let me be clear
World peace tops my list this year.
And the climate seems to be a mess,
Could you teach us to use a bit less?
And remove animals out of cosmetics
And also take religion out of politics.
Actually, I don’t know, I wonder whether
You could get rid of religion altogether.
Don’t get me wrong, God can stay,
It’s just religion that’s gone astray.
And why not knock off the odd disease
And remove the pirates from the seas.
And stop folk cutting down our trees
And improve the quality of on our TVs.
And rid the streets of hoons and louts
And ban the sale of Brussel’s Sprouts.
But if all this is just a wish too far
I’ll happily settle for a good Pinot Noir.

Oh, PS: It would be a grand finale of sorts:
If you could give George anal warts…

Love, Cosmo.

© J Cosmo Newbery
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  1. This Brussels Sprouts thing is becoming a bit obsessive compulsive, don't you think?

    The trick with the TV is to not watch it.

  2. See you get right to the heart of the matter, a good bottle of wine!

  3. We must be kindred spirits. You've captured almost exactly what I would wish for ---except I'd keep the brussel sprouts. (I won't be offended if you choose not to eat them, though.)

  4. I thought GW was an anal wart?

    On the other hand I have to protest the banning of Brussel's sprouts - what would mothers threaten unruly kids with then?

  5. note to self:
    add 'give anal warts to W' to your own xmas list..

  6. Some nice wishes there j cosmo, hope you get them your Pinot Noir. ♥

  7. Much nicer than my letter. Oh, and last line = best of all.

  8. It's a comfort to see that our illustrious leader commands respect and gratitude on the world stage yet again. He's had a tough week. First shoes, now warts. I'm with you, though. The man is an imbecile. Nice poem... full of lofty longing.

  9. Wow! That was great!
    It is much better that what I would have asked for. Not that I don't want those things, I just want them and a few frivolous things also.

    You put it so well!

  10. Very nicely written!!

  11. Visiting from MamaKat's writers workshop posts...

    As always, your poems are sheer genius -- amusing, hilarious and with a bit of a political edge that I love. I just don't know how you do it!

  12. LOVED this. Please publish all of your stuff. If not for the public, just for me? Print them off, wrap them up and send them to my house.
    Thanks for the laugh!

  13. i dont think the stocking will fit much more than the bottle of pinot.

  14. I wrote a letter to Santa too, but took a totally different look at things. Love the rhyme. Love what you ask for.

  15. I loved your letter, and the last line made me laugh out loud.

    Hopefully we can have some of those come true.

    - Kendall

  16. Some great sentiments. I love the end

  17. That was a great letter to Santa. There are many things that I would also ask for if I had the chance.

  18. That was AWESOME! YOu are so talented!

  19. Even though G.W. and I are like totally bff's (in my imagination) I still thought your poem was quite funny... especially about the brussesl sprouts.

  20. I literally laughed out loud here. Wonderful rhymes!

  21. Hugs and sweet kisses for you J. Cosmo Newbery :)
    And a Merry Christmas too :)



  22. I just dunno....
    One minute I was standing there, watching Santa in the parade.... and the next minute I could feel these things growing right in the crack of my butt.


    Warning: looking directly at pictureas of the president will spontaneously create anal warts on the viewer.

  24. great shades of England!
    Warning signs!

    Oh well, for those of us who live here, I'm sure the 'comedy' isn't over.
    It's just that we are growing fearful of looking to see what's next....

  25. yes ban the Brussels Sprouts!

  26. How did you know what I wanted for Christmas? including the extra bit for W?

    Read my post, "What I Want for Christmas" written by R.G. Ingersoll in 1897. I think you will enjoy it:

    It's amazing how relevant it is today.


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