Sunday, June 30, 2013

559 : Weight for it! Weight for it!

Weight for it! Weight for it!
A little Sunday morning rant.

Have you lost weight?
No, damn it!
I haven’t ‘lost’ any weight.

I’ve thrown it away,
Pushed it away,
Told it to leave
When it begged at my door
Disguised as a nice cheese
Or a profiterole
In search of a home 
And a place to rest, 
On me,
For a long time.

Losing weight?
Sounds a rather 
Careless thing to do.
No, this is a premeditated act.
Callous, hardhearted, in fact.

I have learnt
To ignore the pathetic pleas
From the whining and dining 
Little shitake in butter sauce
To take it back,
To take it in.

Like Sisyphus, pushing a cupcake
To the top of the food pyramid,
This may go on for a while.

But have I lost any weight?  
No, I know exactly
Where it has gone.

© J Cosmo Newbery 2013

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  1. Oh, that nasty weight disguised as such scrumptious goodies! The old devil in disguise. Loved it, as always, J Cosmo.

  2. I love your voice..ha..ha...bring all the goodies in ~ And nice title too, smiles ~

  3. AnonymousJune 30, 2013

    So very very true! Had to smile at this one.

    And yes, I'd be honoured if you wanted to use one of photos over here.

  4. AnonymousJune 30, 2013

    Hahahaa.... me too!
    Apparently my meals of cherry garcia have fittingly gone to my waist ;)

  5. Smiling loudly. This is so very true.

  6. Nice one on losing weight:)

  7. This made me smile, I loved it. Thanks for sharing.

  8. Lovely! I think my scale lies to me. I try to resist yearnings and have felt lighter, but it persists on giving me the same reading day after day. I shall print out this encouraging and determined poem and tape it to my fridge. Thank you!

  9. Cute ditty, J.C. I've lost 20 pounds but 10 of them wanted to come back. The other 10 are lurking around, I am afraid.

    Sunday in church I noticed I had this note in my Bible:
    Calories and Faith are a lot alike;
    you can't see either but you sure
    can tell when they've been there.

  10. Love it..."No, this is a premeditated act. Callous, hardhearted, in fact." I was callous enough to send 80 lbs away, but there are always more. :) Great write!!

  11. Sisyphus pushing the cupcake to the top of the food pyramid, oh Cos, that is one image that will linger! Amazingly original.

    Losing weight... you don't want to hear this, but I had to GAIN weight this past year. Now I have reached my goal and no longer get "pencil girl" comments. I look like a regular woman.

    Lex still loved me when I was fat, too, before I lost weight years ago. God, it's all such a hodgepodge. I wish you luck if you are trying, and I wish you buttery shitakes if you have chosen the "screw it" route!! Love, Amy

  12. excellent. this write would go soothingly with a nice crisp sauvignon blanc. Ok, lemon water.

  13. When it begged at my door
    Disguised as a nice cheese

    ha! Those darn shitake's ... and they never stop trying! Adore this.

  14. I have long loved the story of Sisyphus and the thought of him pushing a cupcake up to the top of the food pyramid had me laughing out loud.


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