Sunday, June 09, 2013

531 : Nocturne III – Intermission

There seems to be a nocturne theme in the blogosphere at present.
Imaginary Garden with Real Toads asks us to write a Nocturna.
(9 lines, decasyllabic, aba cbc dbd.)


Bells, vespers for the closing of the day
Herald the coming of a time of rest
And present a chance to clean the slate.

An important lesson that should be drawn:
Our problems, too, traverse the night refreshed
To reappear with the coming of the dawn.

Through such loose ends, countless sheep are numbered;
Far better if the issues are addressed
To then start the new day, unencumbered.

© J Cosmo Newbery 2013

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  1. Best to start the day encumbered, after a good rest ~ You got the rhyming pattern correctly & linked rhyme words - rest, refreshed & addressed.

    Thanks for linking up with Real Toads ~

    Have a good weekend ~


  2. You had me at vespers. Very nice!

  3. Something to aspire to, and beautifully expressed. Thank you.

  4. Loose ends and countless sheep can be conquered...slashing paddocks is the answer...physical exhaustion...lovely pic ..birds in chevron going to steal it.

  5. filled with hope and refreshing thoughts:) the way to start our day,,,,lovely poem

  6. AnonymousJune 09, 2013

    So true. Yet sometimes those loose ends are things only we can resolve...

  7. Oh, if only the issues truly could be laid to rest. Usually they seem more like zombies and they come back the next day.

  8. True, and so well stated.

  9. That middle couplet is a little sobering :-)

    You are an accomplished water colourist.

  10. well done! that last stanza, and particularly "countless sheep are numbered," slowed me down and made me think. excellent!

  11. I agree. Delighted in your steps toward comparison! This message used the form well,with room to breathe.

  12. I love the note of practical positivism in this piece !!!

  13. I love that word "vespers" — it always takes me back to summer camp and prayers sung at nightfall, on a hill, with the sky above and the lake below. So restful. And in those days problems didn't "reappear with the coming of the dawn"! Well said.
    I love this poem.

  14. AnonymousJune 10, 2013

    very nice work. Randy

  15. "Our problems, too, traverse the night refreshed", I love that. That our problems are the same yet new, every day, not resolved only fresh.

  16. Oh, she did it again! That's my sister above...I just scrolled down here to make comment on the exact same potions!! Umm...well, I'll just say, "what she said!!"

    Excellent work!

  17. lovely piece with nice thoughts...start a day unencumbered. Lovely close!

  18. Don't like redundancy, but this is lovely and true.

  19. Enjoying your previous posts and your versatility as a writer. I appreciate how your blog is organized. The styles pique my interest and your writing is so fluid! Thank you.


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