Laura Jayne at Pictures, Poetry & Prose poses a daily writing challenge.The prompt for this poem was “A little Kitty Tale”.
Double billing: One of this week's writing challenges from Mama's Losin' It
is to write about a pet. Two for the price of...uh...two.
The Cat
I
They wheedle their way into your life,
More demanding than the average wife.
At dinner time, they will implore you
Then, for the rest of the day, ignore you.
Preferring instead to put their behind
In the warmest spot that they can find
And there, asleep, they will remain
Until it’s time to eat again.
II
To own a cat you must cede them
The right to decide when to feed them.
Also your choice of favourite chair
And then endure their disdainful stare.
It’s nice to stroke them, hear them purr,
If you don’t mind all the discarded fur.
But, should you do anything that rankles,
Farewell the flesh from above your ankles.
III
Accept that you can never tame them.
But get revenge when you name them.
While dogs get solid names, loyal and true,
Like Rex or Rover or Henry or Blue,
Cats get Tiddles, Primrose or Smee
Denying a killer its long pedigree.
A cat wont come when you call him,
Largely because his name appalls him.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery
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I
They wheedle their way into your life,
More demanding than the average wife.
At dinner time, they will implore you
Then, for the rest of the day, ignore you.
Preferring instead to put their behind
In the warmest spot that they can find
And there, asleep, they will remain
Until it’s time to eat again.
II
To own a cat you must cede them
The right to decide when to feed them.
Also your choice of favourite chair
And then endure their disdainful stare.
It’s nice to stroke them, hear them purr,
If you don’t mind all the discarded fur.
But, should you do anything that rankles,
Farewell the flesh from above your ankles.
III
Accept that you can never tame them.
But get revenge when you name them.
While dogs get solid names, loyal and true,
Like Rex or Rover or Henry or Blue,
Cats get Tiddles, Primrose or Smee
Denying a killer its long pedigree.
A cat wont come when you call him,
Largely because his name appalls him.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery
---
I love to hate my cats!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! I doubt I'll ever own a cat but if I ever do get one, I'm totally naming it Smee!
ReplyDeletemaybe we shouldn't a named it raindrop ..
ReplyDeleteYou're right. I'm just now thinking of the names of my daughter's cats and they're ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteYou totally captured everything I've ever experienced about cats ... and so wittily and rhymily and funnily. I swear...I am in awe of you every day.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful poem with an awwwwfully cute picture. It left me feline fine...
ReplyDeletelike "Fine. Don't come in. Freeze your whiskers off."
and "Fine. Don't eat your Fancy Feast. I love throwing money down the drain."
or "Fine. With all the hair I've collected from the couch, Señor can skip the Rogaine treatment this month..." ;)
What's that saying: Dogs have owners, cats have staff?
ReplyDeleteJ Cosmo - stonkingly good. Mum actually laughed out loud. I like folk who make mum laugh. You are the best Cosmo. I was never that keen on poetry till I found your blog.
ReplyDeletePS: Mum's emailing a link of it to her cat loving friend.
ReplyDeleteYou described my cat, exactly.
ReplyDeleteI just checked Mama's Losin' It and your poem can do double-duty for this week's assignment.
I just finished writing about my cat. (Haven't posted it yet.) Maybe I'll skip over to Laura Jayne's, too.
I think this describes PERFECTLY why I've never been a cat person! They're too snobby for my tastes! Give me a puppy dog any day! (Even on the awful days that he acts like a miscreant and causes all sorts of chaos.)
ReplyDeleteGreat poem j cosmo and gorgeous photo up there.
ReplyDeleteMy three are very sociable, not snobbish at all, love lots of cuddles and dont scratch. Guess I am most fortunate. ♥
Smee! Hee! Wait-that was unintentional. My cat had a very substantial name (once I named her that is, after a year of "ownership"). She was Monster. Monster the ankle flesh ripping cat. Just ask Diane.
ReplyDelete