First Degree Burns
On the night of Burns
A Scotsman yearns
For haggis, neeps and whisky.
Then checks out the chassis
Of the young lassies
Hoping for one feeling frisky.
Conditions are Spartan
For the men in tartan
As nothing’s worn under their kilt.
If they find a young thing
Who’s up for a fling
They press their case to the hilt.
As they roll together
In the damp heather
It's the whisky that keeps them active.
The women folk, too
Have a dram or two,
It helps make the laddie attractive.
For those who don’t know it,
Robbie Burns was a poet,
Who said haggis was of God’s makin’.
While mashed neeps are fine,
And the haggis is devine
It’s the whisky that brings home the bacon.
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© J Cosmo Newbery
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Print this post
On the night of Burns
A Scotsman yearns
For haggis, neeps and whisky.
Then checks out the chassis
Of the young lassies
Hoping for one feeling frisky.
Conditions are Spartan
For the men in tartan
As nothing’s worn under their kilt.
If they find a young thing
Who’s up for a fling
They press their case to the hilt.
As they roll together
In the damp heather
It's the whisky that keeps them active.
The women folk, too
Have a dram or two,
It helps make the laddie attractive.
For those who don’t know it,
Robbie Burns was a poet,
Who said haggis was of God’s makin’.
While mashed neeps are fine,
And the haggis is devine
It’s the whisky that brings home the bacon.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery
---
That had mum sniggering but she said it was a tad saucy for a little dog:) She's right. I didn't get it.
ReplyDeleteGlad you didn't get it, Henry. I would hate to carry the heavy responsibility of corrupting such a sweet young dog.
ReplyDeleteBeware the Scotsman with his dander up.
ReplyDeletehere's to haggis and a toast to the lassies ..
ReplyDeletefor being such a muse ..
I think kilts are sexy, I am just saying that they look good from a distance on most men. Anyway....
ReplyDeleteA fine poem y've got herrrrrre, laddie. Outstanding. Haggis? Disgusting.
ReplyDeleteAye, I just love a man in a kilt.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem! ♥